“Celebrate the love of your soul mate” and variations of that always pop up around February 14th and Valentines Day. But it’s also a sentiment that people are drawn to when they want to celebrate their love with the one who is most dear to them. The idea however is one that has evolved over time and thanks to the greeting card companies has taken on a different meaning than its spiritual definition.
“Tell me the story about how the Sun loved the Moon so much he died every night to let her breathe.” It’s a beautiful line that pulls at the hearts of many to want to learn more. Storytellers and romantics alike want to know the origins of that line and where it comes from. They want to hear or read the whole story and share it with the ones they love. Continue reading →
While I’m waiting for scans to run on my laptop, I was reminded of what makes a relationship work. It can be applied to any relationship, but in particular to intimate relationships. Whither it’s a marriage or a long-term partnership, you can’t sustain any relationship for the long haul without respect.
When I officiate a wedding, a handfasting, or any commitment ceremony, I always include this:
“A marriage cannot exist and thrive without mutual respect. Respect of ideas, feelings and expressions of conscious and desire. Without respect you cannot support each others dreams, or care for one another in sickness. You cannot share the intimacy of your love, or honor the sacrifices you each will make to sustain your partnership and your family. Respect will maintain your love for one another even when those moments of dissatisfaction arise and angry words are spoken.”
Respect will pull you together in times of stress and struggle. Instead of pushing you apart and creating dissatisfaction, blame and anger that can tear your love apart. It creates a united front based on support and wanting to overcome the challenges life can throw at you. Working together and holding each other up when one of you loses the energy to fight sustains your strength as a partnership. Reminding each other that “we will be ok” goes a long way to helping each of you to fight another day and triumph over adversity.
But respect also works when times are good. When you’re walking down the street and feel the pull to walk arm in arm. For the 20year relationship that sits at a restaurant and still reaches across the table to touch each others hand. It reminds you of why you fell in love in the first place and promotes those soft intimate moments to rub a shoulder, or caress a knee when laughter overcomes you both. Respect is what’s needed for any long-term relationship of love. When you respect your partner, nothing can pull you apart.
I saw this on a poster recently. It was talking about the stress and strain of being online and drowning in social media for kids and even some adults. How these new mediums of communication can impact friendships and relationships.
Fake friends believe in rumors, real friends believe in you.
Some of you probably don’t know that my partner Garrett and I met online in an old AOL chat room. As soon as word got out that we were “seeing each other”, the online drama queens started their efforts to spread rumors to break us up.
It didn’t work, obviously. Because we talk. We talk a lot. We tell each other everything! Absolutely everything. And because we respect each other, we’re open, honest and trust each other implicitly. Continue reading →
When people learn you’re a minister, they make a lot of assumptions about you and what you believe.
Of course here in the U.S. the first assumption is that you’re Christian. Once you over come that and spend several minutes explaining that Christianity is not the only religion that employs a clergy based system, you’re spend the next several minutes explaining what Paganism is. Ok that one often takes much longer, after they’ve looked at you as if you’re speaking a foreign language. But if they’re still talking to you, the next set of assumptions come up. What ever you call it, if you’re religious, you must believe what “I” believe. Continue reading →
This week Venus moved into its retrograde state. It’s affects will influence our emotions until the end of June.
How Retrogrades Impact Our Lives Sometimes when we look out into space, other planets appear to be traveling backwards through the sky. Although planets are always moving forward, an optical illusion throughout the year causes the planets to appear to be traveling backwards. We call this motion a retrograde.
From an astrological perspective, these optical illusions impact the flow of energy here on Earth. Thus each planetary retrograde affects us as individuals and as a global society. How they affect us depends on the energy of the planet and it’s impact in the astrological charts. Continue reading →
We develop connections with other spirits and give them names to differentiate between them. We have Twin Souls, Soul Mates, Karmic relationships and the all important one, Spirit Mates. Each one has a purpose and each one is different. But in the commercialized world, their purpose has become blurred and confused.
All of our relationships are spiritual in nature. From metaphysical theory, we make agreements with others while in spirit to share time and space together here on the physical plane once we’ve incarnated.
We also make agreements with other spirits to help guide us through our incarnated path to learn lessons, share guidance and pay or redeem karma or both.
Each of these agreements are designed for one main purpose, to help our spirit learn, grow and work toward enlightenment. But that doesn’t mean that each of these agreements are the same.Continue reading →
You already have what you’re crying over, so why are you crying over what you have right in your lap? There’s no need to search, no need to alter who you are, no need to feel lost. Open your eyes and take another look at what you already have in your life. You might finally realize you had it all along and simply weren’t seeing the whole forest for the trees blocking your view.
Don’t let your emotions get the best of you and keep you from seeing that you already have the thing you want most today. You’re trying to create a perfect situation out of an imperfect world. Nothing in life is perfect. Everyone makes sacrifices and faces challenges. It’s how you face those issues that allow you to see the blessings that bring the real joy from life. So snap out of it. You have a lot more going for you than against you!
Everyone knows the adage “You can’t change others” or “You can’t learn lessons for others” when dealing with negative situations. Those wise old sayings come from centuries of experience passed down from one generation to the next. But it seems in our desire to be helpful and show compassion we have to be reminded of their message constantly. If you continue the same patterns of response, you are allowing others to control your emotions and direct your path. They don’t have to change you, because they have the ability to manipulate you through their own actions and your consistent patterns of response. They already know how you’re going to react, because you’ve done it so many times before. In doing so, you become an enabler and through your own actions, you promote the negative behavior you want changed in the first place.
This can occur in any type of relationship. It’s more often associated with relationships that are impacted by addiction. But it can also occur in work situations with a boss, or co-worker. Continue reading →
Communication is one of those things that people often mess up with expectations and assumptions. We expect people to respond to our communications in a certain way and when they don’t many people don’t know what to do. Assumptions are equally as good at messing up communications as well. But the good thing is, they don’t have to with a few little changes in our thinking.
I read an article recently by a journalist who shared a personal story relating to a miscommunication between her and her husband. Only I felt her conclusions to her story were missing a key point. She made assumptions that impacted her expectations and created the problem. Basically the short side of the story was this. The journalists husband was given the afternoon off because of a job well done on a recent project. He called his wife and told her about the nice reward. She decided to cancel her afternoon, pick their daughter up from school, ran by the grocery store and planned a nice special afternoon for the entire family. The time went by when her husband should have been home, but he had not arrived. Of course she tried to contact him on his cell phone, but there was no answer. Another hour went by and she was becoming angry. Two hours went by and her anger grew. Finally after 3 hours, in walks her husband all smiles and happy only to be met with her anger. She laid into him and in his defense he reciprocated the anger. In the argument he announced that his phone died and he didn’t have a way to charge it. Ok that explained the cell phone. His delay in coming home occurred because he took the opportunity to get a hair cut and stop by a store for shaving cream on his way home. Ok that explains where he was. Continue reading →
It seems today that our society has created an environment that makes it near to impossible for people to find deep loving and long lasting relationships. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) tracks marriage and divorce rates in the U.S.
In 2002 Report 23, Number 22 they presented one of the last statistical reviews of American marriages. Among the findings in the report: unmarried co-habitations overall are less stable than marriages. The probability of a first marriage ending in separation or divorce within 5 years is 20 percent, but the probability of a premarital cohabitation breaking up within 5 years is 49 percent. After 10 years, the probability of a first marriage ending is 33 percent, compared with 62 percent for co-habitations.
But they don’t explain what happens to second marriages or co-habitations. I personally fall in that category and I’d be interested in knowing what the statistics show. We’ve been together 10years and we have a son. We have no plans on changing our co-habitation into a legal marriage. We had that license in the first relationships and both of those failed. Maybe they’ll cover that in the next decade. Continue reading →