Tag Archive | marriage

What Creates A Successful Union

Respectful Love

Respectful Love

Respectful Commitments
While I’m waiting for scans to run on my laptop, I was reminded of what makes a relationship work. It can be applied to any relationship, but in particular to intimate relationships. Whither it’s a marriage or a long-term partnership, you can’t sustain any relationship for the long haul without respect.

When I officiate a wedding, a handfasting, or any commitment ceremony, I always include this:
“A marriage cannot exist and thrive without mutual respect. Respect of ideas, feelings and expressions of conscious and desire. Without respect you cannot support each others dreams, or care for one another in sickness. You cannot share the intimacy of your love, or honor the sacrifices you each will make to sustain your partnership and your family. Respect will maintain your love for one another even when those moments of dissatisfaction arise and angry words are spoken.”

Respect will pull you together in times of stress and struggle. Instead of pushing you apart and creating dissatisfaction, blame and anger that can tear your love apart. It creates a united front based on support and wanting to overcome the challenges life can throw at you. Working together and holding each other up when one of you loses the energy to fight sustains your strength as a partnership. Reminding each other that “we will be ok” goes a long way to helping each of you to fight another day and triumph over adversity.

But respect also works when times are good. When you’re walking down the street and feel the pull to walk arm in arm. For the 20year relationship that sits at a restaurant and still reaches across the table to touch each others hand. It reminds you of why you fell in love in the first place and promotes those soft intimate moments to rub a shoulder, or caress a knee when laughter overcomes you both. Respect is what’s needed for any long-term relationship of love. When you respect your partner, nothing can pull you apart.

Additional Reading:

© Springwolfs Hanko

© 2016 Springwolf, D.D., Ph.D. Springwolf Reflections / Springs Haven, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

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We Celebrate Same-Sex-Marriage Equality

LGBT SupportNews Release
June 26, 2015 : 11:53am

The Supreme Court rules gay couples nationwide have a right to marry. “Under the Constitution, same-sex couples seek in marriage the same legal treatment as opposite-sex couples, and it would disparage their choices and diminish their personhood to deny them this right,” Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote in the majority opinion. ~ Read the coverage at The Washington Post.

Everyone here at Springwolf Reflections and Spring’s Haven celebrate with the LGBT community on the Court’s decision to enforce Marriage Equality for all American people. This is a profound moment in the history of our nation. Love is Love in all 50 states of the U.S.

“The first wedding I officiated was for a same-sex couple.” Spring explained. “It has always bothered me that the wedding wasn’t “Legal” here in Virginia at the time. Not only for the couple, but as a minister licensed in this Commonwealth there was something lacking in the celebration. It was my first official wedding and there was nothing to mark the occasion.” Continue reading

A Homily: Guilt By Association?

wolfloveBigotry Cloaked In Religion Is Still Bigotry

When people learn you’re a minister, they make a lot of assumptions about you and what you believe.

Of course here in the U.S. the first assumption is that you’re Christian. Once you over come that and spend several minutes explaining that Christianity is not the only religion that employs a clergy based system, you’re spend the next several minutes explaining what Paganism is. Ok that one often takes much longer, after they’ve looked at you as if you’re speaking a foreign language. But if they’re still talking to you, the next set of assumptions come up. What ever you call it, if you’re religious, you must believe what “I” believe. Continue reading

Holding Respect With Love

Imitate Nature's RespectThe Key To Successful Relationships

It seems today that our society has created an environment that makes it near to impossible for people to find deep loving and long lasting relationships. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) tracks marriage and divorce rates in the U.S.

In 2002 Report 23, Number 22 they presented one of the last statistical reviews of American marriages. Among the findings in the report: unmarried co-habitations overall are less stable than marriages.  The probability of a first marriage ending in separation or divorce within 5 years is 20 percent, but the probability of a premarital cohabitation breaking up within 5 years is 49 percent. After 10 years, the probability of a first marriage ending is 33 percent, compared with 62 percent for co-habitations.

But they don’t explain what happens to second marriages or co-habitations. I personally fall in that category and I’d be interested in knowing what the statistics show. We’ve been together 10years and we have a son. We have no plans on changing our co-habitation into a legal marriage. We had that license in the first relationships and both of those failed. Maybe they’ll cover that in the next decade. Continue reading