What Creates A Successful Union

Respectful Love

Respectful Commitments
While I’m waiting for scans to run on my laptop, I was reminded of what makes a relationship work. It can be applied to any relationship, but in particular to intimate relationships. Whither it’s a marriage or a long-term partnership, you can’t sustain any relationship for the long haul without respect.

When I officiate a wedding, a handfasting, or any commitment ceremony, I always include this:
“A marriage cannot exist and thrive without mutual respect. Respect of ideas, feelings and expressions of conscious and desire. Without respect you cannot support each others dreams, or care for one another in sickness. You cannot share the intimacy of your love, or honor the sacrifices you each will make to sustain your partnership and your family. Respect will maintain your love for one another even when those moments of dissatisfaction arise and angry words are spoken.”

Respect will pull you together in times of stress and struggle. Instead of pushing you apart and creating dissatisfaction, blame and anger that can tear your love apart. It creates a united front based on support and wanting to overcome the challenges life can throw at you. Working together and holding each other up when one of you loses the energy to fight sustains your strength as a partnership. Reminding each other that “we will be ok” goes a long way to helping each of you to fight another day and triumph over adversity.

But respect also works when times are good. When you’re walking down the street and feel the pull to walk arm in arm. For the 20year relationship that sits at a restaurant and still reaches across the table to touch each others hand. It reminds you of why you fell in love in the first place and promotes those soft intimate moments to rub a shoulder, or caress a knee when laughter overcomes you both. Respect is what’s needed for any long-term relationship of love. When you respect your partner, nothing can pull you apart.

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