Making Sense Of Spiritual Relationships
We develop connections with other spirits and give them names to differentiate between them. We have Twin Souls, Soul Mates, Karmic relationships and the all important one, Spirit Mates. Each one has a purpose and each one is different. But in the commercialized world, their purpose has become blurred and confused.
All of our relationships are spiritual in nature. From metaphysical theory, we make agreements with others while in spirit to share time and space together here on the physical plane once we’ve incarnated.
We also make agreements with other spirits to help guide us through our incarnated path to learn lessons, share guidance and pay or redeem karma or both.
Each of these agreements are designed for one main purpose, to help our spirit learn, grow and work toward enlightenment. But that doesn’t mean that each of these agreements are the same.
There are a multitude of theories, myths and thoughts about how our spiritual connections are made. How they were initially created and what impact they have on both our spirit and our soul. As well as, what impact they have in our physical life.
Wikipedia states this about “soul mates”:
In his dialogue “The Symposium”, Plato has Aristophanes present a story about soul mates. Aristophanes states that humans originally had four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces, but Zeus feared their power and split them all in half, condemning them to spend their lives searching for the other half to complete them.
According to Theosophy
(the system of belief and practice of the Theosophical Society),
God created androgynous souls—equally male and female. Later theories postulate that the souls split into separate genders, perhaps because they incurred karma while playing around on the Earth, or “separation from God.” Over a number of reincarnations, each half seeks the other. When all karmic debt is purged, the two will fuse back together and return to the ultimate.
Midrash is a way of interpreting biblical stories that go beyond simple distillation of religious, legal or moral teachings. It fills in many gaps left in the biblical narrative regarding events and personalities that are only hinted at. In one of these collections a proverb states that “marriages are made in heaven”:
A Roman matron, on being told by R. Jose ben Ḥalafta that God arranges all marriages, said that this was an easy matter, and boasted that she could do as much herself. Thereupon she assembled her male and female slaves and paired them off in couples; but on the morrow they all went to her with complaints. Then she admitted that divine intervention is necessary to create suitable marriages.
In modern usage, Jewish singles will say that they are looking for their bashert, meaning they are looking for that person who will complement them perfectly, and whom they will complement perfectly. Since it’s considered to have been foreordained by God whom one will marry, one’s spouse is considered to be one’s bashert by definition, independent of whether the couple’s marital life works out well or not. That’s a key concept to this theory.
The Pagan Metaphysical Theory
Pagan Metaphysics relies heavily on Universal Law to define and explain spiritual connections such as soul mates. So lets start at the beginning with the foundation of Universal Law, Hierarchy and Organization as taught by Metaphysical principles. First and for most the Universe is not totally random. There is a form and function known as the Universal Laws. Many are familiar with the Universal Law of Accountability or Manifestation. These are the two most known and popular laws. But there are others that govern various aspects of existence.
The Law of Chaos and Creation is the first Universal Law that forms the Divine Universe. From Divine thought and intervention Chaos was created through the Big Bang, the physical Universe was formed and the process of creation and evolution began. Out of this Chaos spiritual energy was formed. That’s me and you and all living spiritual entities seen and unseen through out the Divine Universe.
At this singular moment in time our spirit was created from Divine Energy. The Divine is within us, because we are part of the Divine thought that created the Universe. Another way of saying this is, the Divine is within us because we are the Divine.
At this moment of creation the biggest overriding component of the Divine was established, that of balance. When our spiritual essence was created so to was an exact duplicate to balance the energy of nature. This is our Twin Soul. Our Twin is exactly like us and much like physical Twins when separated at birth we exercise our free will and choice, but oddly our choices seem to mirror one another through time and space.
Now some teachings tell us that our Twin never incarnates at the same time we incarnate. This is part of the Divine Law of Balance. When we are physical, our Twin is Spiritual to ensure a balance of energy in the Universe.
Some teachings take this concept a step further and explain that not only do Twin Souls never incarnate at the same time, they never incarnate in the same place. So if you’re here in this embodiment, your Twin is in spirit somewhere else in the Divine Universal Realm.
Now if the Universe is all about balance, these concepts make sense. To ensure the scale of energy throughout the Divine Universe is balanced, we and our twins must be on opposite ends of that scale.
There are some issues behind these theories however. If we are positive compassionate and caring spirits, then wouldn’t our Twin have to be the opposite? Some suggest that the concepts of positive and negative being related to good and bad are completely man-made and are not utilized in the same form on the spiritual level.
For the concept of positive and negative we can look at science to help understand this idea. Scientifically speaking a magnet has 2 polarities, a positive side and a negative side. A magnet makes the connection to another magnet not through the positive sides together, but rather through the opposite opposing polarities together. Positive to Negative.
In other words, two magnets connect in this manner: Negative / Positive to Negative / Positive
– Opposing energies are attracted to one another.
Not in this manner: Negative / Positive to Positive / Negative
– Same or like energies repeal each other.
Since Metaphysics is the study of physics beyond physics; I don’t think it would establish one principle in physics; only to establish an opposing or opposite principle in metaphysics. Additionally the negative polarity isn’t “bad” energy, it’s similar but not the same energy. So while we think of positive and negative as being good and bad, they’re not; they’re simply opposite polarities.
If we continue this concept in relation to Twin Souls you might think of it this way. Each soul builds a blue print to follow once it has incarnated. Like all blue prints once the building process begins, alterations take place. You use free will and choice to decorate, take out a wall here, add a window there, change the color of the sink to emphasis the light from that window; all based on the process of construction.
You and your Twin Soul have shared commonalities through out your existence when creating a blue print for incarnation. And similarly you have each faced the same fork in the road. The experiences on one side of the fork are positive energy and the other holds the negative energy. If you choose the right fork, your Twin (when confronted with the same choice) will choose the opposite or left fork.
But doesn’t that make choices pre-ordained?
Not really. Because you may choose to designate which way to go on your map at the beginning of your journey, but when you are confronted with the fork in the physical world, your experiences may influence you to choose the opposite road.
Don’t think linear here. You and your Twin have had thousands of lifetimes where you have had similar experiences. But those lifetimes do not have to mirror one another one after the other. Life maybe a circle, but it has many spokes that support its framework. Not all of those spokes are exact opposite of each other. If they were, the wheel would fail from lack of support.
Instead, we utilize free will and choice that allows us to make our own determinations to our own destiny. Our Twin may choose a similar path in their next incarnation, or they may choose the opposite. But when all is said and done, by the time we both reach the point of total enlightenment, we will have balanced out choices and become equals on the Universal scale.
Now some believe the concepts defined by Aristotle and Theosophy are actually those of the Twin Soul, not the soul mate. Which makes some sense if you view the description as an individual with four arms, four legs and two heads/faces being split in two. Doesn’t that sound more like a Twin than a mate? There are a few other reasons behind this approach as well. For instance, while you have one Twin Soul, you can have multiple Soul Mates in your multitude of lives and spiritual existences.
The misconception of “Soul Mate” vs “Twin Soul” can be directed toward modern-day commercialism. Your soul mate is indeed the perfect connection of love to you. But once again the idea of what that means has been altered by man-made perceptions and propagated by greeting card and flower companies. Here we need to rise above the mundane concepts of the physical world and look at the spiritual law behind the idea of “Soul Mate”.
On a spiritual level there is no greater gift than love. When that concept is implemented here in the physical world it can come in the form of a mother’s love of her child, a father’s sacrifice to protect his children and so on. It is not solely a physical intimate relationship of sexual partners that are destined to be together in this lifetime. Nice idea, but in a way that approach lessons the importance of a Soul Mate in your lifetime.
A Soul Mate is a spirit that shares your spiritual progression toward enlightenment. Think of them as part of your buddy system, traveling together through the cosmos and helping each other meet the challenges. You and your buddies share both knowledge and wisdom, but each may have their own special talents that enhance the group overall. You maybe better at writing music and your buddy has the talent to write the lyrics. Together you can make beautiful music because you utilize your skills in harmony with each other. This is the basic concept behind the relationship between you and your soul mate.
You do not incarnate with your soul mates in every lifetime. While in spirit you build your blue print and choose the lessons to learn in order to advance your soul toward enlightenment. Those lessons involve karma, spiritual knowledge and practice. Each relationship you have in this embodiment and your own self discovery will all impact the challenges you face during the incarnation. And more importantly the reactions you express in those situations.
Now in making these choices we don’t establish every lifetime as one that will be difficult and the struggles will be immense. We may go through a lifetime of great challenge and in the next incarnation we may build our blue print for an easier path as a reward or simply to balance out the hardships from the past incarnation.
It’s in these lifetimes that we choose the hard lessons and potential hardships that one of our soul mates will agree to work with us. They come into our life right when we need them the most. They participate in the hard lesson and help us form the events that will challenge our soul to learn and cross the chasm so we can put that lesson behind us. Once we have achieved the goal, the soul mate will probably walk out of our physical life.
These relationships can be parent/child, sibling/sibling, boss/employee, same-sex, opposite sex, friend or lover. But whatever the design of the relationship from spirit, they are always about the love of spirit, helping, guiding and perhaps sacrificing in order to achieve the spiritual mission of evolving toward enlightenment. And it is because of this aspect of enlightenment that makes these relationships so important and meaningful to us.
While we have many Soul Mate buddies, we have even more karmic relationships that can be just as important.
Almost everyone you know in your life today has some type of karmic relationship to you from a past life. There maybe a few who you meet that are simply passing through your journey and you feel no connection to them. They are indifferent, simple acquaintances you share a little time with. In that brief moment you may develop a spiritual connection and a measure of karma for your next shared lifetime. But not everyone on the planet has a karmic connection to you and it’s important to remember this.
Karmic relationships are based on balance, similar to that of the Twin Soul. The main difference is, they are not a twin and the balance of energy we share with the karmic relationships occur from one shared incarnation to the next. We may be female in this lifetime and have an agreement to be the mother of a soul that was our mother in a previous incarnation. It’s an exchange of energy designed to promote spiritual learning and balance the energy we share during our lives together.
Consequently there are karmic relationships that are loving and supportive and others that are challenging. Each is designed to teach us both something. But as with all things, we all have free will and choice. We may encounter a soul that chooses to be controlling, resulting from some karmic situation their soul went through in a previous incarnation that we weren’t even part of. In these cases, someone who was murdered might put themselves in a similar life experience where they come face to face with the choice of killing someone or not. And if they make the same choice and murder you, they develop a big chunk of karma to answer for. Not only to you, but to the Divine Universal energy we are all part of. We could get into a great discussion of reincarnation and karma here, but that topic is for another time. Let’s focus on the karmic relationships themselves and what they mean to us.
In some of these relationships we can be a teacher to someone who becomes our teacher next time around. That same soul can become a brother or sister to us in a different life supporting our lessons for family evolution, or a lover or friend and so on. Through each embodiment we develop deep bonds with some of these souls similar to the way we develop deep bonds to certain people in our incarnated life. We have best friends that we feel we’ve known for ever, or lovers who simply know us better than we know our selves. Each of these relationships have been built on mutual love and respect through our existence as spiritual beings. So we have ‘known’ each other “forever”, at least on a spiritual level.
Simply because these close karmic relationships aren’t in the same form as the Twin Soul or Soul Mate doesn’t make them less important or that they lack meaning. In reality they are more important. These are the relationships that we share from lifetime to lifetime helping each other overcome all the mundane lessons and participate in all the challenging and rewarding lessons as well. They hold the deepest connection to our soul and they are vital to both our physical existence and our spiritual evolution.
There will be some karmic relationships that work so well together, that they become permanent fixtures in one form or another in each embodiment we share. These extra special relationships can be the ones commercial vendors think of when they use the term ‘soul mate’. I like to call these relationships Spirit Mates. And here’s why.
The theory of Reincarnation works like this from a metaphysical perspective. We are complete energy in spirit, holding all the memories of every lifetime we’ve ever had within our being. As spirit we are capable of holding this vast amount of energy, viewing it from the perspective of Divine knowledge and wisdom. But when we incarnate, we cannot bring all this energy and knowledge into our physical being. It would be overwhelming. Instead we choose previous lifetimes that hold knowledge, experience and wisdom that will be beneficial to us as we face the lessons we set on our blue print for the coming incarnation. Since the Universe is about balance, we balance the number of previous lifetimes with the implementation of who we will become on a physical level.
By that I mean, our physical body is made up of 23 DNA strands we get from our parents. This DNA determines our eye, hair and skin color. It dictates our skeletal features based on nationality and our physical health based on race, ancestry and so on. To balance the physical DNA to spirit, we choose 22 past lives, to incorporate into the coming incarnation. These 22 strands plus the coming lifetime make up our 23 Spiritual DNA strands and together they establish the energy of our soul. The soul is therefore a subset of the greater spirit. We implement these 23 spiritual DNA memories into our chakra centers and these centers become the physical manifestation of the soul within the physical body. Our soul remains connected to the larger spiritual body through what many call the “silver cord” that can be seen in altered states of awareness connected at our solar plexus (where your rib cage meets at the bottom) and the opposite end travels to the ethereal plane where the spirit body resides. And the connection is made between the spirit and the soul.
Because our Soul Mates don’t come into every incarnation we have, they are somewhat limited in their connection to us. They are a small part of our past, though a meaningful part. But they are not as connected to us and important to us as the Spirit Mates who have come with us through a vast number of incarnations. They are with us on a much bigger scale and therefore they are more meaningful to us in each incarnation.
Now take that idea a little further and consider the 22 past lives you pulled into this one to work with. In all the thousands of lifetimes you probably had, only 22 are chosen for this incarnation. And within those 22 lifetimes, how many other souls will incarnate with you at this time to share knowledge, experiences and karmic events with you? It raises the importance of their interaction in your life, does it not?
When we work to understand all these relationships we can develop both a deeper understanding of their importance in our physical lives and their greater impact to our spiritual evolution. While a Twin Soul is important to our balance of spirit, we have a bigger connection with a Soul Mate who provides us with spiritual support though lifetimes where we choose to work on the evolution of our soul. And while those relationships are important, they are vastly different from those we share with our Spirit Mates. These are the long-lasting karmic connections that we hold with other souls from lifetime to lifetime. These relationships are the ones we feel drawn to, connected to and yearn for. They bring the love of our life, into our lives. Because they’re our family and the ones we cling to the most.
There are many ways to learn about the relationships in your life. Through dreams, deep meditation and past life regression we can get a glimpse of our spiritual connections and learn from them. We can share this knowledge with those we have in our lives and strengthen our understanding of each other and why we’re connected and what we bring to the table to share with one another.
Remember all of these relationships are a two-way street. These spirits are important to you, just as you are important to them. Each type of spiritual connection has meaning and purpose in your life. Each should be honored and respected for the gifts and sacrifices they provide for our benefit. In honoring them, we honor ourselves as well. Because we too give to these relationships that which we receive from them.
On Monday night (May 14, 2012), Paul Cagle, Sushi and I sat at our round table for The Ænigma Project and held a discussion about Soul Mates. If you missed the show you can still listen to this episode on The Ænigma Project’s Blog. Or on the show’s broadcast Archives on Tenacity Radio – 2012-05-14- Soul-Mates
© 2012 Springwolf, D.D., Ph.D. Springwolf Reflections / Spring’s Haven, LLC. All Rights Reserved.