Tag Archive | enabling

You Can Only Change Yourself

But That Will Change How Others Respond To You

Introspection & ChangeEveryone knows the adage “You can’t change others” or “You can’t learn lessons for others” when dealing with negative situations. Those wise old sayings come from centuries of experience passed down from one generation to the next. But it seems in our desire to be helpful and show compassion we have to be reminded of their message constantly. If you continue the same patterns of response, you are allowing others to control your emotions and direct your path. They don’t have to change you, because they have the ability to manipulate you through their own actions and your consistent patterns of response. They already know how you’re going to react, because you’ve done it so many times before. In doing so, you become an enabler and through your own actions, you promote the negative behavior you want changed in the first place.

This can occur in any type of relationship. It’s more often associated with relationships that are impacted by addiction. But it can also occur in work situations with a boss, or co-worker. Continue reading

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