How we look at the world around us is based on perspectives that we form through our experiences and how those experiences impact our life. But it is also formed by the type of people we surround ourselves with. From childhood we mimic the views and attitudes of our parents. In adulthood we learn to think for ourselves, value our own opinions and have more control over our views, emotions and responses. The choice is up to us.
Being optimistic doesn’t mean you live in a fantasy world where everything is wine and red roses. It means being able to look beyond the doom and gloom to find the positive element in all things and focus energy on that. All situations have some element of good, but we rarely see what that is until we’re well beyond the event. If we allow ourselves to heal and get beyond it, that is. Continue reading →
Everyone knows the adage “You can’t change others” or “You can’t learn lessons for others” when dealing with negative situations. Those wise old sayings come from centuries of experience passed down from one generation to the next. But it seems in our desire to be helpful and show compassion we have to be reminded of their message constantly. If you continue the same patterns of response, you are allowing others to control your emotions and direct your path. They don’t have to change you, because they have the ability to manipulate you through their own actions and your consistent patterns of response. They already know how you’re going to react, because you’ve done it so many times before. In doing so, you become an enabler and through your own actions, you promote the negative behavior you want changed in the first place.
This can occur in any type of relationship. It’s more often associated with relationships that are impacted by addiction. But it can also occur in work situations with a boss, or co-worker. Continue reading →