If you live on this planet, you’ve gone through experiences where someone in your life has hurt you deeply. Either by a relationship that has broken up, or through a situation where you were targeted as an adversary. Or some other event that has put you at odds with someone or others in your life. We’ve all been hurt.
We can sit down and dream or visualize what we would like to do or say to others that will make us the victor in the situation. You can “see” them apologize to you for being so mean and hurtful. You can wish for them to try to make it up to you, so you can throw their shallow gesture back in their face. But dreaming of revenge and how you might hurt them back, only keeps you connected to them and the negative energy built up within you.
When we allow that hurt to eat away at us, it causes physical ailments to develop. When we hold on to that pain and anger, it creates strife in our own lives that have nothing to do with the situation we experienced. When we allow our character to change because of what someone else did to us, we are giving them more power over our lives and who we are. Releasing this hurtful energy is the key to creating a healthy, happy and positive life. Continue reading →
Getting old or being sick isn’t easy. Living with those who are feeling the aches and pains of age and illness isn’t easy either. They often seem angry all the time, never have a nice thing to say about anything or anyone and their negativity can easily bring down the entire house in an instant. You want to be compassionate, you want to be there for your family when they’re in need. But even the best of people can only take so much before they go crazy themselves.
From the perspective of the older or ill relative, they already feel as though they’ve become a burden to you. If it’s a parent you’re taking care of, remind them that they took care of you when you were young and now it’s your turn to take care of them. Tell them that the U.S. is the only country that doesn’t treat it’s elderly with the utmost respect and dignity. In most other countries, the elderly are revered and honored. In many countries of Asia, it’s an honor to be selected as the one who is responsible for caring for their elderly parents. Continue reading →
Many people these days are taking a good look at themselves and their lives, trying to find a balance for achieving happiness. Or at the very least contentment. They look at how they interact with their family unit, how they conduct themselves within business matters and how much time they spend on making the all mighty dollar and that illusive career or achievement of success. And many realize they’re living a life out of balance and wondering how to find the solution.
A lot of people shy away from looking within as part of the recipe for change. They think of looking within and an exercise to become critical of the self and that introspection seems like it only makes things worse. They being playing the blame game of what has been, or what choices have made that contributed to the imbalance. Guilt for what they did or didn’t do, isn’t going to go back in time and change those things. Continue reading →
I recently had a conversation with a group of people who became very..um..passionate in their discussion about beliefs.While some defined the discussion as a passionate debate, others more emotional, defined it as a heated argument. But what caused the difference of opinion and view of the discussion might be saying something about how we view ourselves as individuals. Are we confident about our position in the debate, or insecure?
Debate is a good thing most of the time. It’s an exchange of ideas, a challenge to linear thinking that may cause opposing sides to expand their views. It may even alter a long held perspective, directing it down different avenues of thought that never occurred to an individual before.
I’ve noticed, however, that many times, informal discussions evolve into passionate debates that eventually break down into heated arguments that leave one or both sides of the conversation with hurt feelings, angry emotions and sometimes long standing feuds between individuals.
And this is especially true if the discussions are about one of the three taboo subjects that you don’t discuss with family or at the dinner table: religion, politics or money!Continue reading →
Communication is one of those things that people often mess up with expectations and assumptions. We expect people to respond to our communications in a certain way and when they don’t many people don’t know what to do. Assumptions are equally as good at messing up communications as well. But the good thing is, they don’t have to with a few little changes in our thinking.
I read an article recently by a journalist who shared a personal story relating to a miscommunication between her and her husband. Only I felt her conclusions to her story were missing a key point. She made assumptions that impacted her expectations and created the problem. Basically the short side of the story was this. The journalists husband was given the afternoon off because of a job well done on a recent project. He called his wife and told her about the nice reward. She decided to cancel her afternoon, pick their daughter up from school, ran by the grocery store and planned a nice special afternoon for the entire family. The time went by when her husband should have been home, but he had not arrived. Of course she tried to contact him on his cell phone, but there was no answer. Another hour went by and she was becoming angry. Two hours went by and her anger grew. Finally after 3 hours, in walks her husband all smiles and happy only to be met with her anger. She laid into him and in his defense he reciprocated the anger. In the argument he announced that his phone died and he didn’t have a way to charge it. Ok that explained the cell phone. His delay in coming home occurred because he took the opportunity to get a hair cut and stop by a store for shaving cream on his way home. Ok that explains where he was. Continue reading →