Allow yourself to be loved by not being so critical of who and what you are. You are your own worst enemy and find ways to pull yourself down from the strides you’ve made. No one is perfect. And we all make mistakes. Don’t condemn yourself saying or doing something you shouldn’t have done. Instead, ask for forgiveness and change your actions to learn the lessons that will keep you from doing it again.
Swords represent Strength & Weakness, Struggle & Endurance, Animosity & Respect.
When you are overly critical of yourself, you’re allowing animosity to rule the day. It weakens your resolve to move forward with positive energy and change things in your life for the better.
Constant criticism of self impacts your perspective and hides the spiritual lessons you face as well. Whither they’re karmic or not, they are lessons you selected to review and learn in this lifetime. It’s much easier to see the lessons and understand what’s going on and why, when you can view yourself with compassion and respect. That self love, allows you to see the paths in front of you and choose the one that overcomes the hurdles and makes your path forward a little easier.
Don’t tear yourself down for making a mistake. You’re only human. And no person on the face of this planet is perfect! If you injured someone, then apologize and ask them for forgiveness. Try to explain why you acted or reacted the way you did, but not as a means to justify your actions. Rather try to discover the trigger that set you off and perhaps you can ask them to help you change your pattern of reaction for the future.
No said you had to go at this alone. No one said you can’t ask someone else for help. No one said you had to endure the struggle and fight every moment against your self and your own self interests. And the truth is, you’re not alone! No matter where you are in the world, there is someone who will be on your side and help you innovate, adapt and overcome the self punishments that keep you down. All you have to do is open your eyes and look for the hand that’s reaching out to you. Even if that hand is coming from within your own spirit.
~~~ Let me share a little story:
Many years ago I had this discussion with a co-worker. Though I didn’t realize it at the time, he was a cocaine addict. His addiction was growing and had started to interfere with his job and personal life. He was already on a 6 month probation period at work, in a job he had worked at for over 15 years. His fiance had just broken off their engagement, 2 months before their wedding. He was falling into an abyss and it was hard for him to see how to get out of it.
One day we were waiting for a meeting to start and we were early to the conference room. It was enough time to have what I thought was a meaningless conversation. But we talked about self punishment. I think the conversation started because I mashed my finger between the table and the chair I sat in. I didn’t think any more about the conversation and others began to arrive for the meeting.
A few days later I heard this young man had taken a short leave of absence. No one knew why but it was a unique situation so the news got around the company, or at least around our division. About 4 months later he showed up in my office and he truly looked different. From the color of his complexion, to the vibrancy in his eyes.
“I came to say thank you.” he said. “Thank you for helping me look in a mirror and realizing the first person that had to help me, was me”. I had no idea what he meant. And when explained his situation and our brief conversation he explained that I made a statement that changed his life. “The first person who has to help you stop punishing yourself, is you. Even if that first step is to admit you need help and to ask for it.”
And that’s what he did. He finally admitted to himself he had a problem and it was destroying his life. He went back to his office and sat for what he said seemed like hours. His boss came to his cubical and asked where a report was that he had to finish. He looked at his boss and almost burst out in tears. They went to his bosses office closed the door and started talking. He told him he was a cocaine addict. He doesn’t know how it happened or when it happened, but he doesn’t want to be that anymore and needs help.
Thankfully his boss was a compassionate man and he called our divisions HR representative. She quickly dropped what she was doing and came to the bosses office. She too was compassionate and told them about a company program that helps people who want to be helped. She told him about the employee benefits package we have, what it offers for support and how our insurance policy covers some of the expense. (We worked at a great fortune 50 company with fantastic benefits.)
The young man took the leave of absence required by the program. The HR rep worked with him into the late evening and contacted a couple of treatment centers. The one they settled on immediately sent a rep to pick him up and take him to their facility, 4 hours away. He confronted his demons and got clean. But it started because he decided to have compassion for himself and take the first action to reach out for help.
I left the company 8 years later and he was still there. Still clean and he had become a counselor for the company helping other addicts who worked there.
It doesn’t take much to look in a mirror and say “I love you and I want to help you”. You’re the first person who has to say that to yourself. Because you’re not going to listen when someone else says it to you. Whither you’re tricked into an intervention or not, no one can “make” you change until you’re willing to do it first.
And your crisis doesn’t have to be on such a grand scale of addiction. It can be big or small. It can be so small that you don’t think it’s worth the effort. But in the end, you’re the one who has to love and respect yourself enough to admit you’re not perfect and it’s ok to admit that. It’s ok to make the effort to change for the better and improve the actions and energy in your life.
You can order a personal reading from Spring through the Services at Spring’s Haven. We offer both in-house and email/phone/skype consultations. As a Ministerial organization, all our consultations are private and strictly confidential.
© 2014 Springwolf, D.D., Ph.D. Springwolf Reflections / Springs Haven, LLC. All Rights Reserved.