Carry Your Happiness With You
I meet people all the time in person, through email or messages, and they share their personal stories of struggle and challenge with me. They talk about feeling lost, feeling as though they’ve hit rock bottom, constantly sad and filled with anger. Not knowing where to turn or go to in order to find help or answers.
I’m blessed with seeing many, if not most of these people go through their “ah-ha” moments as they work forward through issues they never thought they could overcome. They start reading and learning. They begin turning their lives around and making significant changes not only up front in the beginning, but over the long haul with time and effort as well.
I shared something this morning with someone and a little voice said, there are others who need to hear this today. So if you’re one of those people who has had an “ah-ha” moment or you still face challenges and feel that you’re struggling with turning things around in your life, this is for you.
It’s not easy looking in the mirror and taking responsibility for your emotions and your life. To me, it’s the bravest thing anyone can do. Here in the States, and in other parts of the world, we’re practically raised to blame others for the bad or negative things we go through in life.
A couple of years ago, a 20something person told me she was fired from her job. When I asked her why, she said it was because “some bitch in the shop ratted on me for stealing something.” So you didn’t get fired because you stole from your employer, you were fired because someone else ratted you out?! What?! How about taking responsibility for your actions.
Some might say this is just the immaturity of a young person, but sadly I’ve heard similar comments from older people who find it easier to blame someone else for the outcome of their own actions. Maturity isn’t an age thing, it’s a mentality thing. I know some amazingly mature and well rounded young people. Consequently I also know some extraordinary immature older people, some in their 60s, who simply never learned to grow up and act like an adult.
For those who take on the responsibility of their own life, it can be a challenge to accept your own accountability in the events you go through. In any situation when you feel hurt by someone, it’s easy to blame them instead of looking at your part in the play. We often talk about making choices today that set up events for tomorrow or next year and eventually for your entire life. Those choices can be extremely small, or they can take days to think through and decide. But what you do right now, will create your tomorrows.
When we have those “ah-ha” moments they can be so uplifting that we feel like we can take on the entire world. It energizes our day or a period of time in our life and we think we’re actually making progress to turn our life around. I love it when someone tells me “I’m so happy with myself!” It usually comes when someone has given up on something and through a simple event or conversation, they realize they have a lot more they can do. When you realize the doors aren’t closed and you have the ability to find out more, no matter what it is, you feel empowered and uplifted.
Many times someone will tell me thank you for your words and what you did for me. And I always remind people that I’m not the one you should be thanking. I’m honored people find what I write helpful and insightful. But let’s face it, this isn’t anything new here. Nothing I or any other spiritual teacher, life coach, or minister writes today is based on something newly discovered. Often times, those “new” thoughts are really old knowledge wrapped in a new box with a new bow and a new label has been slapped on it. Most often because someone wants to sell you something.
You already know all this already. You know what you need to know to work through your lessons and karma in this lifetime. You have it within your soul and you carry it with you every single day, wherever you go. You simply don’t remember that you know it. ….Yet.
I had a Cherokee teacher tell me once, when you’re talking to someone and something is said that causes you to have goosebumps, that’s energy being released from your akashic records and coming to the surface. It’s your soul remembering what you already knew. So if you have read something I’ve written and it provided inspiration for you, that’s great. But remember, you’re the one who made the little choice to read it. You’re the one who made the choice to take it in and try to apply it to your life. You’re the one who made the effort to put it to work everyday and use that information to change events you face. You are the one that allowed the energy of that knowledge in those moments that pull you down and use it to pull yourself back up.
It’s easy to sit here in my comfortable morning chair, with my coffee and my cat in my lap and write what comes into my head. it takes an effort from time to time, but in general, it’s easy in comparison to putting these words into practice.
It takes effort to apply these concepts to your life and work on using it to make changes that benefit you and your future. You’re the one doing the work. Make sure you take a moment to thank yourself and celebrate the little wins. Because the big ones don’t come along that often. Give yourself a pat on the back and buy yourself a flower or an ice-cream cone. Do something to celebrate the little victories.
It’s great that you have made yourself happy in a certain moment in time. But make sure you translate that happiness into pride as well. Be proud of yourself. Give yourself the opportunity to feel your confidence grow. Feel a little taller, hold your head up and say to yourself “I’m so proud of myself for doing this!”. Because there may not be someone else saying it to you and you need to hear it! So say it out loud and feel the pride.
But here’s a little secret to making these changes last and serve you in the future. Don’t take a single moment of accomplishment for granted. No matter how small or insignificant to anyone else. Mark the occasion and enjoy every second of it. Take a picture, write in your journal, get a blue ribbon and write a message to yourself on the back of it. Do something so you remember how you felt during these precious moments.
I have a friend who bought a box of blue ribbons when she began working on her spiritual path to make positive changes in what she believed was a negative struggling life. She began keeping a journal and wrote in it at least once a week. She was honest with herself about the moments where she believed she failed to apply change to her life. For those moments when she felt that she overcame an old habit and changed something around for the better, she would write on a blue ribbon and place it in the book for that day.
In the beginning the blue ribbons were few and there were large gaps between each one. But 6 months into her efforts, the ribbons began showing up closer and closer together. Over the course of a year, what she called the “blue tells” were packed so closely together you almost couldn’t see the white pages between them. When she would feel old reactions coming up, she’d look up and stare at her journal. She’d see all that 1st Place blue and she slowly programmed her mind to live in the moment and react with her new tools and knowledge.
When you hit those days or moments that come up and make you feel like falling back on old habits. you can look at your accomplishments and use them to help you get through the challenges. They will happen. Life is filled with ups and downs. We can’t avoid them, but we can limit them and their impact on our success. By remembering our successes we can focus on working through the new challenges with a positive force instead of old negative baggage. It’s how we get ourselves through the downs that will help us make a real difference in the long term!
You have free will and choice to make changes in your life. You want to make the right changes that lift you up and set your feet on the path that’s as smooth as possible. You may not be able to avoid all the potholes, but you can give yourself the tools to patch the ones you do come across. All you need to do is look in the mirror and be honest with yourself, take responsibility for your choices and your actions. Don’t blame someone else for the events that are placed on your path and you will be able to own the moment and make the changes that are best for you and your future.
You can do this. So don’t be afraid, don’t let fear hold you back, don’t let the feeling of being lost drag you down. If you don’t know where to turn, ask for direction from someone you trust. The worst question you can ask, the one you NEVER ask. So get it done! Own your life and make it into what you want it to be most! Be brave and you too can discover the moments of pride and confidence.
You might also like reading: You Can Only Change Yourself – But That Will Change How Others Respond To You
© 2014 Springwolf, D.D., Ph.D. Springwolf Reflections / Springs Haven, LLC. All Rights Reserved.