Lose The Attitude – Compassion Doesn’t Come From Accusations or Anger

Control Your EmotionsJust because you’re not in tears and falling to your knees under the stress of hardship; doesn’t mean you’re not screaming inside like a raving lunatic!
~ Springwolf

The Hypocrisy Of Spiritual People

NEVER Judge a book by its cover. Some people keep worry, stress and anxiety inside where it destroys every fiber of their being. You may never see the tears, the shaking hands, or the constant worry on their face or the sounds of struggle in their voice. But that doesn’t mean it’s not there.

Are you a spiritual person who “Walks Their Talk”? Or are you a spiritual person in name only who’s actions fall back on old patterns of emotional drama?

You may never see the signs of struggle within others. You may never know they’re at their wit’s end or that they’ve lost all hope in their lives. But that doesn’t mean it’s not there hidden inside, ready to take another victim and destroy another life or family.

Making false judgements, reacting to others based on rumor or dismissing their struggles because they don’t “look” or “sound” like things are that bad can do a disservice to your spiritual path; and to their attempts to cope for one more day. Your words of frustration, anger or accusation could be the very last straw that breaks their last string of any hope that things will get better or turn around.

You may think you’ve been through something similar and can tell them to “man up and deal with it”. But remember no one faces the same issues in life in exactly the same way. Each person has different experiences in life that forms their perspectives, reactions and views. Don’t assume that because you handled something similar that others should be able to do exactly what you did to get through it. The spiritual and physical lessons you learned, may not be the same lessons that are presenting themselves to those struggling before you.

You may not know how past events have formed the defenses of others to cope with hardship. But more than that, no one has exactly the same support system to get through the varying types of hardships that a person or family may face in today’s world.  Pointing your fingers at the mistakes others made in the past only focuses more negativity and blame onto their shoulders. And for what purpose? They can’t go back and change the past. But you’re not even giving them the opportunity to learn from those mistakes so they can move on and make better choices for their future. By focusing on the past mistakes, you’re holding them in the past where the wisdom of experience is still clouded in struggle.

Failure is not something to get angry over in the first place. Failure means someone had the guts to try to do something and it didn’t work out exactly as they hoped or planned. They may have tried to reach for the brass ring to achieve a dream that had been long held in every fiber of their being. And while they may not have made it this time; that doesn’t mean they won’t take that brass ring in hand the next time as they apply what they’ve learned to their new efforts. At least they took a chance and they made an effort to “try”!

If you claim to be spiritual, then walk your talk. Don’t focus on the choices of the past and speak with an angry or frustrated tone. All you’ll be doing is putting them more on the defensive and causing them more stress and anxiety on top of what they already face.

Instead, speak with a compassionate tone. Let them know you can listen to their woes and provide a sympathetic ear. Find out what their side of the story is and help them discover the positive things that probably do exist beneath the surface. Maybe showing them that they did learn some valuable lessons that will help them avoid those pitfalls in the future. Or perhaps helping them see that things may not be as bad as they feel they are right now. Your words can help someone feel empowered to face another day, and that at least is better than what they had yesterday.

Walk your talk and think about what you say and especially how you say it. Be a force for inspiration, compassion and kindness. Help those in need discover new ideas or solutions to facing their struggles. You may not be the one who provides those solutions; but you don’t have to be. Use your spiritual wisdom and the philosophy that talk about so much, to help those struggling in the darkness to see the hand of light that can pull them up to their knees. Help them rediscover their own strengths and talents that can take them from their knees and stand them back on their feet again. They maybe a little wobbly; but it’s more than they had yesterday.

© 2012 Springwolf, D.D., Ph.D. Springwolf Reflections / Springs Haven, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

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