Unsolicited Advice is Always Self-Serving

Feeling Put Upon

Feeling Put Upon

Why Does Advice Sometimes Backfire?

I try to spend a little time during the week reading in my favorite magazines or news stories that peak my interest. This week, I found one that hits home as it’s close to something I posted on FB a few weeks ago concerning how we sometimes make assumptions about other people’s lives.

Giving unsolicited advice is what causes problems. Advice is often preceded by a judgment or an evaluation—which is based on our interpretation of a person or situation. Although you may sincerely intend to help or assist someone, giving unsolicited advice sends a variety of underlying messages which are all based on assumptions, and which are almost always perceived as negative to the person receiving the unwanted advice. As a result, advice often comes across as judgmental, authoritative, or self-serving.

When we give unsolicited advice, the judgmental assumption is, “You can’t figure this out on your own,” or “I don’t trust you to figure it out.”
     
The authoritative assumption is, “I know better than you,” or “I know and you don’t, so I have to tell you.”
     
The self-serving assumption is, “I need to give you the benefit of my advice to validate or to prove to myself how smart I am.” or worse “I need to tell you what to do, so I can be the hero that saved you from yourself.”

As a result, your judgement manifests through your advice and is often taken as a slight or insult, causing hurt feelings within the one you’re trying to help.”

If you want to help someone you care about, simply tell them that you’re thinking of them, you’re sending thoughts and prayers; and ask if there’s anything you can do, for them to please let you know. But don’t make assumptions about what they need or want. Continue reading

On The Next Ænigma Project – Nostradamus & Automatic Writing

Get Your Tinfoil Hat
and Join Us Live!

The Ænigma Project – Mondays 9 PM EST

The Ænigma Project is a discussion group focused on the realm of the supernatural, paranormal and mysterious events that sometimes take place in our lives. Through multiple view points and experiences, we seek to enlighten our listeners and elucidate that which has become hidden beneath the many layers of misunderstanding and fear.

Join Paul Cagle and his co-hosts Sushi and Springwolf as we share our research, knowledge, insight and humor of the spiritual and paranormal. Be part of the Ænigmite Crew and play “Truth or Tale”, see if you can tell the stories that are real, from those that are made up. And find out what the latest strange or paranormal is being talked about for the week as we discuss the “News of the Day”.

You can join in the chat room to share your perspective or ask questions for the panel to contemplate and address. Or simply listen to the show LIVE!

You can now listen and chat on ANY page. For the web address you only need to put www.tenacityradio.com. Continue reading

Our 1000th Post!

1000th

Thank you for helping us reach a great milestone!

Celebrating A Milestone!

Today’s Tarot Meditation Message was the 1000th post here on Springwolf Reflections! Woohoo!!

I never thought we’d reach that number in what seems like two short years. Maybe that sounds like a long time for some. But for me, it seems like the first post on February 1st, 2012 was only last week.

I do like that the 1000th post has come in May. This is a big month for me for a lot of reasons. So this milestone only adds to the marked events this month has brought to me through out my life. And maybe there’s some significance to being on the 16th, right in the middle of the month. Some what appropriate considering there are 31 days in May.

I’ve been blessed with so gifts from our little official author’s blog. From simple feedback to heart warming and touching notes and letters from so many of you about how this post or that comment has made a difference in your life. I’m honored when folks find my ramblings helpful or inspiring. I’m humbled by your efforts to make note, make the effort to like and or comment and definitely for your trust when you share personal insights about your own journeys.

I owe much of the success for Springwolf Reflections to you, the readers and visitors. If you didn’t come by and check things out, then I probably would have become discouraged and stopped babbling a long time ago. So thank you, one and all, for helping to make this little place on the web a success and for inspiring me to expand and grow it into the future.

© Springwolfs Hanko

© 2014 Springwolf, D.D., Ph.D. Springwolf Reflections / Springs Haven, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

Today’s Tarot Meditation Drawing: Queen of Swords – Inverted

 

Queen of Swords - Inverted

Mystic Faery Tarot by Linda Ravenscroft

Show some compassion for yourself and play your own music. Your strength to get through hardship is what brings success and inspires others. Many of whom appear to be coping on the outside, but are a bundle of nerves on the inside. Now allow your own inner strength to inspire you to rule over your domain both quietly inside yourself and as you spread your wings for others to see throughout the weekend.


Additional Insight:

No matter what others are trying to do today and over the weekend, don’t feel as though you must exhaust your energy to accommodate them. You are always giving all of yourself for others and showing them compassion and kindness, but you often do it at your own expense. That something you shouldn’t do today or through the weekend.

If you want to do something else, this is your time to sing your own song and dance your own dance. If staying at home in the quiet solitude of your world is what you want to do, then make the effort to do that. It’s ok to say “No”. Grab some popcorn and a drink to snuggle up on the couch to a good ole movie. Sleep in, get some rest and do what you want to do. Grab the dog or whatever, jump in the car and go out for a weekend drive. Explore a road you’ve never been on before and have a quiet adventure!

Everything that’s on your plate today will still be there on Monday. Those things that present deadlines may need some attention today and over the weekend, but you’ll get them done. Don’t stress over the little things, because today they really don’t have the big important priority that you think they do. Relax. Let go of the burdens you’ve been carrying all week and may be for much longer.

Things change this weekend for the better and for some it could very well be a drastic change or complete turn around. Some maybe forced changes, some maybe chosen by your own work and efforts you’ve put into something up to this point. Whatever the changes are, Welcome them and invite them in. It’s going to be a good experience and you’re going to be so glad you accepted the ticket to ride.

~~~~

This is the 1000th post on Springwolf Reflections!

You can order a personal reading from Spring through the Services at Spring’s Haven. We offer both in-house and email/phone/Skype consultations. As a Ministerial organization, all our consultations are private and strictly confidential. You can find the Mystic Faerie Tarot on Amazon.


© Springwolfs HankoSpringwolf Reflections 2014 Motto:
I am at peace and live in the moment with all the prosperity and abundance I require!

© 2014 Springwolf, D.D., Ph.D. Springwolf Reflections / Springs Haven, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

Walking Your Talk Everyday

Go Within And Learn

Go Within And Learn

Can You Stand Up To Your Own Standards

As I’ve mentioned many times before, I get a lot of email from folks around the world. I love getting email. Especially from far off exotic places. I love answering questions and hearing about the experiences of others as they traverse their own paths through life and spiritual exploration.

It’s a double edge sword being a writer and teacher of a spiritual path that has centuries of demonstrative propaganda to stand up to. There are wonderful moments of enlightenment, excitement when someone shares their “Ah-ha” moments, and the inner peace you feel when others thank you for helping them find their own truth within themselves. It’s a calling I’m proud to take and honored to share.

But from time to time there are nasty eMails that condemn my writing, call me names and are in general monstrous accusations of sin, guilt, damnation and so on.

Anyone however, can receive an email like this. How you view those emails might say a lot about you and your own spiritual thoughts and perspectives. It can be a litmus test for how far you’ve come on your path, where you are today and maybe even shed some light on where you need to go moving forward.

Do they offend you? Do you get angry or take them to heart? Do you feel the need to respond or do you simply ignore them. If you do ignore them do you still think about what you would have said and how you would have put them in their place had you responded? Do you carry their message with you even if you know their comments and attack on your character are invalid?

Yesterday I received an email and I asked folks on my FB page this question: Continue reading

Today’s Tarot Meditation Drawing: Three of Swords

Three of Swords

Mystic Faery Tarot by Linda Ravenscroft

“Oh woe is me”, isn’t going to get anything accomplished. Stop crying over spilt milk and worrying about things you cannot change. Focus on what you can take care of and get it done. You’ll not only turn your day around; you will also make a big difference in how things work out for the better, tomorrow and even for next month.


Additional Insight:

If you simply sit back and allow yourself to feel overwhelmed, that’s exactly what you will create for the day and remainder of the week. Don’t let the weather, stress, or someone else with a bad attitude pull you down into the weeds of despair and groveling emotions. There is a way out.

You know exactly what you must do today and what must get done to keep things moving forward. Make the calls, do the paperwork and keep your nose to the grind stone. If you have to close the door and focus on your tasks regardless of what’s going on outside, then do so. The more you get done, the more you’ll feel better about what you’ve achieved today and that will turn your whole day around.

You don’t have to solve all the worlds problems. You don’t even have to solve the problems of others. You do have to work on your own challenges. Don’t tackle them all at once. Pick the smallest one and start there. One at a time, little by little you’ll take care of what needs to be addressed today and for the week. Continue reading

Today’s Tarot Meditation Drawing: Four of Pentacles

4 of Pentacles

Mystic Faery Tarot by Linda Ravenscroft

There will always be someone in your life trying to take more than they deserve. It’s ok to relax and be content. But you must also exercise responsibility or you could lose everything. Make sure you keep good records and know exactly what you’re supposed to have in your pantry, your bank account and your heart.


Additional Insight:

Whither its health, money, supplies, food, or commitments you hold in your heart; you should know what you have in your accounts and what you may need to guard and keep safe. Not everyone is holding your best interests in their actions and thoughts.

Someone could be trying to manipulate you into giving up more than what you owe them. Through emotional manipulation, lying, sneaking behind your back and out right stealing from you, it’s a day to make sure you know what you have and what you’re supposed to be paying out. Go over your accounts today and make sure everything is accounted for and budgeted properly.

If you’ve been struggling with holding onto the little you have left, you’re probably tired of all the knit-picking. But that’s the time when you should be the most attentive to what you have and need. It does get old and it is stressful, but you have others in your life who you can count on and you can trust to help you.

Once again a message from yesterday is present in today’s message. Remember that trust is earned, it’s not something you simply give out to others from the moment you meet them. No matter what their title, or what their status is in the world; everyone is still human and must earn your trust. If you give it too freely, you will be taken advantage of when you needed assurance the most. You must take accountability for your own accounts.
Continue reading

Today’s Tarot Meditation Drawing: Knave of Pentacles – Inv

 

Knave of Pentacles - Inverted

Mystic Faery Tarot by Linda Ravenscroft

Keep what you have hidden for now. Others want more from you than a hello and how are you doing. You may be setting yourself up to be used for their selfish purposes. don’t be naive and go about your day in your own happy little world. You’ll have more fun, keep what you have, and enjoy the day much more away from the ‘users’.


Additional Insight:

You might want to be a little careful today and not give out too much information. Be very cautious and don’t commit to things or make promises to others or give out too much information. Your new acquaintance may start asking for things you don’t want to do or want to give up so freely.

It seems everyone is looking to get something for nothing these days. If it’s too good to be true, it probably isn’t real or valid. You’ve been working too hard to simply give things away that you never intended to let go of just yet. So be careful you’re not looking at world through rose-colored glasses and innocent childlike thinking. Not everyone is as nice, accepting and compassionate as you are.

You can be sweet and caring, but that doesn’t have to mean you need to be naive and foolish. Yesterday the Fae warned us about playing the part of the fool and letting our emotions get out of hand. Today that message swings to the other side of the pendulum; but the message is almost the same. It’s not your anger you must watch, but your overly kind and caring heart. Even too much of a good thing, can be bad for you.
Continue reading

Today’s Tarot Meditation Drawing: The Fool – Inverted

 

The Fool Inverted

Mystic Faery Tarot by Linda Ravenscroft

Through healing you will find the success you need to overcome the day’s challenges. Don’t over react and play the part of the fool. Face each issue as if it has already been solved.  When you allow anger and frustration to get in the way, you only make things worse than they are. Be calm and collected so you can think and speak clearly to explain the details. What you thought was a problem may actually be nothing at all.


Additional Insight:

All the little things that need to be resolved could pile up and result in overwhelming frustration. Take a few minutes in between each item on your list and clear your senses from the last encounter that has your nerves on edge. Stay focused and resolved, but do it with clarity and calmness.

It’s going to be a day that tests all that you have learned. Being Mindful, making sure you’re not passing judgements on others without compassion. You don’t know all the details behind their struggles or what hardships they may have beneath the surface.

Allow your anchor of calm to balance your view and relieve your own tension. Push out the stress to the Divine realm and let it all dissipate before you take on the next task. You’ll be able to think more clearly, listen with better ears and see with more understanding eyes. You’ll be able to see things for what they are and not what your anger has turned them around to be. Continue reading

Happy Mother’s Day – 2014

The Beauty of Mother

The Beauty of Motherhood

Happy Mother’s Day

Motherhood comes in many forms. On two legs, four legs or no legs at all. It’s not something from blood type or heritage. It isn’t found in our atoms or electrons. Mothers aren’t the people who give birth, they’re the people who love, care and nurture.

They are the ones who tend the wounded knee, hug you when your balloon gets loose and flies away, fixes your meals day in and day out, tucks you in at night, or simply calls to find out how you’re doing this week.

I hope you can tell a mother thank you and let her know you appreciate all the things she does. Share some flowers, or plant a rose to let her know you love her all the days through the year.

May you all have a great day, honoring the Mother that has supported you. Including Mother Earth.

~ My Heart And Soul ~
Thank you, Mom
For standing by me through thick and thin,
For not giving up on me when I didn’t win.
For your patience and never-ending support,
For caring when I would sell myself short.

I am grateful knowing…
You’re always there building up my courage,
sharing your wisdom that always encourage.
If I lose my way you help me get back on track,
If my heart breaks, you bring the laughter back. Continue reading