Don’t take the blame for something you didn’t do. Your friend maybe on the final straw of their last chance, but that’s not your responsibility. Don’t let them drag you into the consequences they created. You don’t have to go down with the ship to be loyal. You’re not the one who should feel guilty for not standing with them in the fall. Did you ever think maybe they should feel guilty for taking advantage of your friendship and pulling you down after you’ve worked so hard to stand up?
Friendship is a two-way street no matter who is involved. Even if that friendship is between partners, couples or family members. If someone you care about is on a self-destruct mission, you can’t save them. And you can’t allow them to pull you down with their ship. Don’t enable their behavior by feeling guilty and giving in to their mental manipulation and/or abuse.
Standing with someone doesn’t mean you let go of the safety rope and Jump onto their deck. It means reaching out to them and trying to pull them out of the negative destruction they’re getting sucked into. Use your steadfast clear thinking to help them get back onto shore into the safety of compassion and kindness. Then you can work on the problems together.
They’re going to use every guilt trip in the books to “pin” this on you. Either as a co-conspirator, or the guilty party all together. Don’t take the blame for something you didn’t do to ease the karma for another. It doesn’t really work that way and you’ll end up creating your own karma that you will have to resolve one day. Keep yourself on the top of the list for who deserves your love, compassion and good judgement. You have NO reason to feel bad about putting yourself first in situations like this.
There’s a difference between being the friend someone can count on, and being the friend that enables bad behavior at their own expense. If you go out this weekend and your friend who’s driving has a few too many, stand up and tell them to give you the keys. If you’ve had a few as well, that doesn’t mean choosing yourself as the driver and risking your reputation to get both of you home. Call a blasted cab, start walking or call a friend who can come get you both.
We all have choices and we shouldn’t feel guilty about putting ourselves first to ensure our reputation, health and maybe even our very life is protected for our future. Make a concerted effort to stop your friend from doing something stupid. But if they won’t listen, you may need to let them go on their way. Maybe they aren’t the friend you thought they were.
Keep yourself safe, stay in a safe place and stop feeling like you’re the one who did something wrong here. When did you become responsible for the world? When was it mission to save everyone around from their own poor judgement? Try hard to convince them they’re making a bad choice. But don’t give in because you’re being impatient while waiting for someone else to come help you out. It’s worth losing a little time out of the day or night, in order to make sure you’re there the next day to help your friend pick up the pieces and get through the consequences of their actions.
Personal Readings From Springwolf
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Springwolf Reflections 2014 Motto:
I am at peace and live in the moment with all the prosperity and abundance I require!
© 2014 Springwolf, D.D., Ph.D. Springwolf Reflections / Springs Haven, LLC. All Rights Reserved.